why I fell so lonely and nothing is around me

Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, I always ask myself  "
why I fell so lonely and nothing is around me" and then I realize that sometimes I need to be alone to find out what happen and to seek answer for all the things I am asking for, but then I found you but still you go away and leave me, now I get it I need to be strong for myself and for the people who still believe and love me not for the single person that always hurting me without reason.